How to be happy again: moving past unhappiness
Often when we’re unhappy, we are recalling what has already happened, or worrying about something that has not happened.
Life is a spectrum of opposites.
Where there is darkness, there is also light.
Where there is fear, there is courage.
Where there is air, there is also dust.
We can’t say, we don’t want sadness, we only want happiness.
If we don’t have sadness, how do we know what happiness is?
Pick up cues of unhappiness arising.
With awareness, we can create a distance from our emotions before we get sapped in and get stuck in gloominess.
How do we distance ourselves from our emotions?
We can utilise our senses to bring us back to the present.
Is your body tensed?
Relax yourself like you’re lying down on the beach.
Are you holding your breath?
Breathe in slowly.
Observe what’s happening around you.
If you’re outside, notice things happening on the street.
If you’re at home, look far outside the window.
Notice the clouds drifting and the colour of the sky.
Listen for the birds, feel the wind coming through.
Are you safe and well?
Do you have a comfortable life?
What truly makes a difference to you?
When you’re ready and calm, try looking at the situation from a higher point of view.
With a calm and accepting mindset, we can make rational analysis and decisions.
The unhappy experience may be an reaction of what's happening at a higher level. Examine all possible causes of the problem.
Try asking yourself questions:
Why did you react the way you do?
Is the complication significant enough to disrupt your peace?
If a person hurt you, was it deliberate or unintentional?
Is he or she doing it to you, or also to everyone else?
Is there an experience the person has gone through to behave undesirably?
By recognising there is a world bigger than ourselves, we can have compassion.
There is nothing wrong with you, and whatever happened was not personal.
Although, it doesn’t mean you agree that their behaviour is correct.
We cannot control everything, but we can learn to protect ourselves emotionally and physically.